An Encounter With Gentleness
I did not anticipate this conversation. The gentleman who picked us up for a meeting we were to speak at that evening jumped right in:
“You have no idea what happened to me when you spoke here last.”
He was right. About five years prior, we spoke at about three different groups per week … and although I could recall this group, I did not remember anything specific involving this man.
“Tell me about it,” I responded.
“Well, you need to know a bit about my story before that day. I was part of the military’s special forces….”
He began telling us of the traumatic events he was part of during the end of the Vietnam war. The few friends who survived, all had to deal with PTSD, and throughout the years various friends had asked him if he had considered therapy also.
“Nothing wrong with me,” was his answer.
And he truly believed that there was nothing wrong.
“Well, that morning you spoke here, something happened that I can only describe as an encounter with gentleness. “
By the time he got home, it was evident that something had happened.
His wife asked: “What happened to you?” “What did he say?” she asked as she saw his tears for the first time.
“I don’t know what he said,” he answered, “but I encountered gentleness, and something changed.”
That evening we were driving back to our accommodation with his wife. She told us the story from her perspective. It was not only the military events that were traumatic, but as a college student, he was involved in a car accident with friends in which he was the only survivor.
“The day he had an encounter with gentleness was the first day I saw him cry,” she said, “And the next day he booked himself into therapy.”
“Since then, I have witnessed a tenderness I did not know before.”
I love the patience and persistence with which our Abba draws us toward the beauty that is possible for us. No matter how many crusty layers we try to hide ourselves in, he knows that gentleness is our true nature, that vulnerability is essential for intimacy, and no matter how long it takes, love will win.
